So you’ve set your browser on private and have ventured to the “taboo” searches of the internet. No worries, shedding light on darkness illuminates us.
How did I get here? Like you, money was tight and I wanted a sense of freedom, specifically to travel. I’ve played with the idea once before when I felt myself in a financial crisis. I shrugged it off and dismissed it with a “I am too good/intelligent for this.” The second time around: I had quit my stressful job, took the leap to travel abroad to Europe, and about 6k (I mainly stayed for free) got me nearly a year of figuring out the next steps. Well apparently a year wasn’t sufficient and I had nothing substantial after 8 months. My blogging ideas to documents my experiences and adventures, plus job offers were useless. I had way too much sensory overload to even write. Plus, turns out being an immigrant was much for difficult than I thought (I never thought about it in fact). Apparently, you need some useless paper called work visa, hm, who knew.
I continue to splurge on dinners with denial. The last straw was when friends supported me with a polaroid camera and an idea to go around taking photos in exchange for donations in the beaches of Mallorca. One attempt with an older couple was enough rejection for a lifetime. I proposed the idea of me webcamming to my close friend. He, of course, supported me and after consulting with a couple of friends who had no judgement, I decided. I’d much rather exploit myself than have others exploit me working black market minimum wage jobs. Besides, I did not just leave a good position to go steps backward.
I was far away from home and away from any opinions others formed of me. I had a house to myself and $40 in my bank account. First day, did not even take off my clothes and earned $135 talking to a cool guy from California! All the years spent dancing in front of my mirror was literally paying off! These guys thought I was a pro! I learned very quickly that sitting there looking pretty and expecting men to throw money at me was not a good strategy. I would dance nonstop for five hours and sometimes would make too little to even mention to nearly $400. Still, I had the freedom and I discovered more about myself and others.
My first lesson was that men are simple. More lessons followed…